I want you, no I don’t

​I did say it’s over but it’s you I always think of. When I’m alone, I remember everything we shared–stories, laughter, passions. I know I could live without you, and you could live without me too but at the back of my mind, I don’t really want to. I can but I just don’t want to and it’s driving me crazy to think that you feel the same way. Well, maybe you do, but hearing the words, “I want us to be over ” or “I hope you find someone better” coming right from my mouth, I cannot imagine how hurt you might be. And with that pain, you might just go, live your life without me rather than stay with me and take part in my complicated life.

I’ve always wanted everything that’s complicated because in intricacies, I find challenge. I get driven to be someone I’m not or do something that I’m not used to just because I feel the hype of being in a complicated state but still I manage to get through. But what we have is far more complicated. I don’t know how things started but once we got in, it seems like we can never get out. No matter how many times I try to breathe another air, yours always comes to existence. I could not picture myself with another person because your image is what I always see..everywhere. On times that I thought of finding someone new, I tend to look for “you” in them.

I guess moving on from you is not for me because after all these things that I had to say, I know it’s you I still want. I do, I honestly do but I could not compete with the fact that though I want you that bad, we are already over and there is no chance that we are getting back together. I’m just gonna let things be because love is not just about feeling it and having it in reciprocal. Sometimes, love is more about sacrifice and doing the right thing.

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I want you, no I don’t

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